Today

Today is my birthday. I am twenty years old today, the last one in the family to leave the teenage years.

I feel old.

I know, I know twenty isn't exactly nearing retirement, but I think it's mix of my environment change and responsibility change that happened about a month ago, but now it's marked by a birthday. I really felt it yesterday. After the boys left I cleaned the house. Like, really really cleaned. And it sucked, but I did it anyway (how did my mom ever do it?), and when I got home it was a little dirty again. That made me angry- I do work and not only is it not recognized, but it's not respected. Again, how on earth did you do that for years and years, mom? So anyway, I have that job of putting forth a share of house work, or as a movie we watched in Sociology today called it, unpaid labor, as well as school and the hours and hours of more unpaid labor that I put in at the theatre.

So, again, I feel old.
But, hey, that's life and I love being twenty already.

Suddenly

Suddenly I, am in front of the lights
Everything, I'm feeling
Is scary and beautiful at the same time
And every day I try just to breathe
I want to show the whole world
The truth inside of me

Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink of an eye

My dreams begin to rain
Suddenly time, feels like the wind
It changes everywhere I go
I'm just trying to fit in
Now here I stand
And I'm still just that girl
I'm following my heart
In this amazing crazy world

Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink of an eye
Suddenly I am center stage
Suddenly I am not afraid
Suddenly I believe again
In a blink of an eye it's happening now

As my dreams begin to rain
I want to say to love me for me
What's inside
I'm gonna be positive, not run away, so much for you
This is life

Suddenly I am center stage
Suddenly I am not afraid
Suddenly I believe again
In the blink of an eye
My dreams begin to reign